I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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