you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
