The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
