ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
