Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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