would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I party with great urgency now.
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