i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
