I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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