wat bout pragnant strippers??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
