He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
