in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
