so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
