Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
