I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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