that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You took a bar mat shot.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
