Banned from zoo.
Again?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
