mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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