do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
