We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
