so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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