You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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