Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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