**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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