He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
