So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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