yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
