are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
