It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
