You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He better not be in your backpack
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
