they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
