His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
