I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
