Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
