I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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