I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
