so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
