yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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