Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
