I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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