Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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