He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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