Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We need to get me chipped asap
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
