so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
