Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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