I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
