So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
