So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think i got beer on your cat.
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