Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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