words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
