It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
